As Roland would say...."are ya kiddin'?"

Nearly 7 months had passed since the marathon and every run was littered with thoughts of what it would be like to run Boston.  I thought about the crowd, the city, the fact that "little old Andy, in his first attempt, got into Boston and ran with the best of the best".  I already had friends and some of Maura's family saying they would be there IF I got in.  IF.  The new registration process got annouced just days after my race and I spent the whole summer trying to calculate my odds of getting in.  The new process worked like this:
Registration opens on Sept. 12th.  The first two days were open to those beating their qualifying time by 20 minutes or more, next two days, 10 min or  more, last two days, 5 min or more.  Then, IF (I was really starting to hate this word by this point) there was room left in my age/gender group, I could register.  HOWEVER, even then IF (grrr) I got to register, I had to wait another week while they sorted the remaining entries by who was fastest, and then capped it when it was full.  You got all this? I didn't, but I tried.

When it was time for me to sign up, I was slightly relieved to see that there was still room!!  A glimmer of hope.  I literally sat at my desk and hit "refresh" on the site until it opened on that Monday.  My fingers flew across the registration page like I thought that the faster I signed up gave me any better chance of getting in.  I double and triple checked my information.....this was it. I hit "send" and let out a sigh.  However that was the easy part.  Now came the waiting game.  I had to wait at least a week while others just like me registered all over, all of us vying for whatever spots were left like interns trying to get the lunch meeting leftovers in the work kitchen.  It was a long week.

I checked my email 100 times a day, even if I knew I wouldn't have anything yet.  It was like waiting for Christmas, but not knowing if I was gonna get toys, or coal......or if and when Santa would even show his red ass! The days went by and I kept myself occupied.  I was now in Germany for a week for work and that shifted my focus....a little.  As much as I liked the distraction from staring at my Yahoo! inbox, it left me vulnerable when the email arrived.  I wasn't even ready for it!

I woke up at 7am and groggily went to my computer and pulled up the screen.  Rubbing the sleep from my eyes and shaking off the Pils and jet lag I looked at the screen.  I had left it on my Yahoo! inbox as I had been for probably the last 8 days.   SHIT!  There it was.....I quickly shut the computer screen.  I wasn't ready for this right now.  It's too early for this.  Too late though, I knew it was there.  I saw the BAA and the subject "Your application for the 2012 Boston Marathon".  I sat there, now fully awake, heart racing while I tried to determine my fate based one the subject line....enough, let's do this.  I opened up the email, 1,000 thoughts rushing through my head.......

My heart and head sank.  A wave of dissappointment crashed over me.  I didn't get in.  This was the first real time that running and dissappointment had combined and really hit me.  Until now I had a great streak of killing PR after PR and I felt like a racing bib was a bullet proof vest.  This was a shot right to the heart.  I read it over and over again, making sure I was reading it right.......that's when I saw the salt that got rub into my fresh wound.   "Entries from applicants in your age group were accepted through, and including the time 3:08:46"!! 

ARE YOU F-ING KINDDING ME?!?!?  I missed getting in by 2 damn seconds! My mind immediately re-ran my race in my head, highlighting everything I COULD have done to squeeze 2 seconds from a 26 mile race.  I couldn't have known all this at that time, so it was useless. My "ESPN Story about lil Ando and his amazing trip to Boston" was done..........or was it? 

After a couple minutes of being genuinely sad and frustrated, I actually found myself smiling and almost laughed a little.  "2 seconds, you gotta be shittin' me" I thought to myself.  Then I made a decision that I think I will look back on for years.  In the biggest race, the race of life, I was standing at a cross road.  Which direction was I going to take, which story do I want to tell?  The one about me falling short and giving up, or the one about falling short and taking adversity, using it as fuel and going out and kickin' some serious ass!?  Well, I'm proud to say I gave the "other way" the middle finger, dusted off my race bib and my Mizunos and headed down the trail that might be a little longer than the one I had hoped for, but this time I'm not gonna let 2 seconds stand in my way......I'm gonna run a marathon so fast that there's no way I'm gonna be out next time.  Now I just gotta pick my prey......