I'm BAAAACK!

The New Year started with some new challenges for me.  We got home late night on New Years day which was nice because I had the next 3 days off.  All I had to do was run, and unpack/un-Christmas the house.  Seemed simple enough......I thought. 

Tuesday I had to run 1mile easy, 8 miles at goal pace, and another easy mile.  I'd done 8 miles like this before so I figured, no sweat......but mother nature was on her period and decided to be a major pain in my ass that day.  Temp was in the high teens and the wind was 25-35mph with gusts up to 45mph!!  It was like running with a parachute on.  Somehow the wind seemed to continue to change as I ran and I always had it in my face.  Towards the end I thought I was going to pass out from exhaustion, I was dizzy, had blurred vision, and my face resembled Lloyed Christmas....frozen and snot covered.  Not a great day.  My plan called for rest on Wednesday which I was very happy about.  Usually, when I finish a tough run I can still give a good "YEEEEEEHA" at the end to celebrate...today I was hunched over, hands on knees, just trying to keep upright.  I was actually scared I might keel over....I've never felt like that.  I didnt like it.  

I figured the extra day off would have me back on track for Thursdays workout.  I had to run a couple "supersets" which were 2400m/800m/400m at paces of 10K/5K/sub5K......I wanted to try and knock this out at lunch so I opted for the treadmill.  I hate the treadmill but in terms of keeping pace, it works.  I struggled like hell to get the first set in, even jumping off for a few seconds to catch my breath.  I was not a happy camper.  After my "rest" period I started set #2, hoping I could will my way through it.  My attitude sucked for some reason and I was furious at how hard this seemed......I then did something I'd NEVER done while training before....I quit.  I slammed the stop button after just .21mi into set 2 and walked out of the gym.  I was ashamed, dissappointed and just out right pissed off.  "What was wrong?" I kept asking myself.  I went back to work and emailed Aaron Saft from FootRx to try and get some support.  In the meantime a friend, co-worker, and fellow runner, Rebecca had emailed me asking to run after work.  I decided the only way I could try to change my attitude was to get revenge and run on the local track after work.  Maybe not the smartest thing to do, I'd already run 4 miles that day, but I wanted to beat this workout.  We headed out after work and got to the track.  I hit my first set right on pace, but it was tough.  My second set was slightly off pace, BUT I finished, and I was happy again.  Sometimes I guess you gotta do stuff like that.  I could have and maybe should have just tried to get after it another day....but I dont have any patience for this crap and I'm now within 75 days or so from the race....no time to screw around!

Since that week things have changed.....thank Tebow! I ran my Saturday workout at pace, and I would be back on schedule the following week.  That had to bring some change.  Old schedule, new attitude. 

As much as I hate the treadmill, I found myself back on it Tuesday.......DAMN IT!  I had headed out to the track, running from the YMCA there, only to find that there was as track meet going on.....in JANUARY!?  I was not happy, I had just run 1.7 miles and had to turn around and head back to the YMCA and then get on a treadmill for 8.5 miles.  Not happy at all.....especially since I still hadn't completely forgotten my struggles last week.  Oh well, I was not about to let that stop me, I needed to get this done.  7x1600 @ 10K pace.  I struggled, but I took it each mile at a time.  I played every mind trick I could think of to keep me going.  Looking at EVERY mile in a section......".25 down, two laps until last lap", "4 miles down, over half way".  It was working and I was kickin' some ass.  I could see myself in the window and I tried to just focus on my form, remembering how the runners from "Born to Run" were described.....smooth form, to the point where you thought you could balance a plate on their head. 

That night was different, I found myself remebering why sometimes I LOVE the treadmill.  It reminds me that I'm pushing myself to limits most people wouldn't even think about.  Here I was, running at a 6:18 pace, treadmill humming loudly and I could catch a few glimpses of people around me with that "what a nut" look on their face.  I'd love to see a fast forwarded video of the group of treadmills that night.  What started as a packed room slowly empties out, people on and off treadmills, but I'm still there.....giving it my all. 

I'm not an overly religious guy.....but I'd say I'm pretty spiritual....and I definetely believe in things happening for a reason.  Sometimes it's the perfect song coming on when you're struggling, or some scenery that just makes it all worth while. Tonight gave me one of those moments I'll carry for the rest of my training and maybe longer. 

During the 3rd or 4th rotation on the treadmill next to me a guy next to me turned to me after I had just finished one of my miles; I'm panting and wiping down while I jog until it's time to speed up again; he turns to me and says "it looks like you're chasing down your food, or running from being eaten"......without hesitation I smiled and said "that's what I'm shooting for, that's how it all began."  wow.  His seemingly casual comment was the essencse of the book "Born to Run", and he seemed like he had just told me "you're figuring it out".....at least that's how I took it. At that moment, on a treadmill I didn't want to be on, a complete stranger unknowingly gave me the best compliment I could have ever asked for.  When things like this happen.....it gives you amazing strength and grattitude.  Needless to say I ran with passion and excitement the last few miles and this time I wasn't slamming the stop button and storming out as I did just a few days prior.  I was leaving motivated, determined, and proud.  These are the moments I run for.